How To Deal With Family When In A Downsizing Process
When you find yourself in a downsizing process, how to deal with family is one of the most significant aspects to consider.
In nearly every family, there’s always someone who thinks it’s all valuable, and there’s still someone else who thinks it’s all junk.This is normal. If the person who thinks it’s all precious and valuable wants to do all the research and sell it, let them. They will probably give up because; they have an inflated idea of the value of the items and an unrealistic sense of the amount of time and energy involved in getting rid of them. It’s essential to give them a timeline because they may drag it out, trying to get you one extra dollar. Remember, their heart is in the right place. If you’re that person who thinks everything is valuable, sigh, it’s not.On the flip side, there is almost always someone (often in the same family) who thinks it’s all worthless and thinks everything belongs in a dumpster.
The truth is, it’s usually a bit of both.
Sometimes family members want to sort everything out. Sometimes they don’t want to, or they don’t have time, or sometimes there are physical limitations that keep them from taking it on. Or sometimes they say they will, but a year later, the task is still going on, and the amount paid in property taxes, insurance, and utilities is more than the stuff in the house is worth.And that is where we come in. We are able not only to solve the problem with getting the home ready but also to alleviate any existing family tension.Sometimes families find a way of working together, but our 15+ years’ experience shows that most just want to have the task done and over.Families get overwhelmed in the memories of their “stuff.”
Using an outside party gets it done quickly and eliminates the emotion that goes with the stuff. We encourage family members to focus on taking the things they want, boxing photos to go through later, and sorting memorabilia and paperwork. They should leave the Tupperware and yard tools to others.
Frustration with Younger Family
Many millennials prefer to live simpler lives, with less stuff, in smaller downtown spaces, far from the suburban homes they grew up in.What all this usually means is your grandkids are not interested in “stuff.” They put a different value on household items. Please don’t be mad or try and convince them. Just let your stuff go to someone who will appreciate it.
Conclusion/Tips
Suffice to say, the “Stuff” you thought you might pass to your kids and grandkids most likely is not something they are interested in. You should still offer it to them, but for the most part, they will probably say, “no.” Don’t be hurt. It’s not about you, and it’s not rejecting your “Stuff” or memories. They are collectors of knowledge and experiences, not things. Forgive them and find new places for your stuff to go.
If you need help with your downsizing process, contact us.
Until next time – Keep It Simple!
Downsizing the Silver Tsunami - The Betty Brigade - Sharon McRill
Article based on my most recent book, "Downsizing the Silver Tsunami." This book is a practical resource for anyone who is facing the task of downsizing—moving from a larger family home to a smaller house, condo, or multi-family living situation. Learn more.
